The right to bragg

Being a new military wife is a challenge. Being a military wife is a challenge either way, new or old. I’m still learning my way around the base I have now lived at for 7 months. I am still learning of every Key Spouse resource and unit though I have finished training and Heart Link. I had trouble filing military taxes even though I have been doing my own taxes for 6 years. I am also finding myself with a lot more girl friends than boy friends. That’s not normal for me. I only have certain orders of ranks remembered and feel like an idiot trying to count the strips and remember them all. I have to ask to remember at events who I should wait to see leave before it’s appropriate for us to leave. The wives are either extremely annoying or overly sweet. There’s barely ever an in-between.  You’re supposed to speak up and shut up at the same time and that’s a confusing concept on it’s own. The second you finish unpacking and getting settled in and make friends, something changes. Friends leave, orders come up and mess up. Deployments and TDY’s can sneak up on you at any given moment so plans better be in place just in case. And don’t even get me started with the acronyms.

With all of this, I am still happy with the choice that my husband made. Why? Well, there’s the obvious reason that he is now a part of the United States Air Force and he is a part of the large group of men and women protecting and serving our country. Then there is the face that he makes whenever the plans are flying directly over our car as they land, the look of pride. He is happy. Him being happy is important to me. Does all the above comments drive me nuts sometimes? Yes. But marriage is also about making sacrifices. And if there were ever a man worth making those sacrifices, it would be my husband,

Every morning my husband wakes up, throws on his uniform and heads off to work. All day I chase my son, hold my girls, pay the bills, set up Dr. Appts, clean the house, cook the dinner, do school with our son, do my homework and then some. By the time he gets home we are both exhausted. We take a break, eat dinner, and then start with activities and then the bedtime routines.  We spend some short time alone together when all is finally (hopefully) silent and then off to bed to do it all again. This is my little, simple world and I love it. 

USAF BMT Graduation Weekend

One thing I remember about my husband being in BMT was all of the questions everyone had! There were questions about literally everything! I also loved seeing photos of the graduations and ceremonies, they got me even more excited about my husband's coming up! I'm writing this post to share my wonderful experience of BMT graduation weekend!

Of course, I will post pictures, daily events, and links to helpful sites. There will also be a list of links to pages that can answer the questions I may have not been able to answer on this!

BEFORE GRADUATION:

Letters- While I know some people aren't letter writing type of people, do it anyways. It really seems to help motivate the men/women going through training to keep pushing forward! When you go to bed, get some down time..whenever works, just write write write! If you don't get one from them or as many as you would like, don't stress. They are okay and are just very busy and really don't have much time to write!

Pictures- Yes you can send pictures, as long as they are appropriate. That means no naked photos and nothing vulgar. Do not send candy and care packages either. JUST letters and pictures :) You can bring candy or care things to graduation!

Children- I had a 2 year old going through this with me, he missed daddy a lot and I simply kept reminding him that daddy was coming back and that he loved him very much! I also showed him many pictures of his daddy while he was gone, especially recent ones I got from him so that our son could try to adjust to daddy's new look.

Phone calls- I got mine either on a Sat. or Sun of everyweek. They started at 15 mins each and then moved up to 30 but that can change at any time. They could not call or call or talk for a short time or a long time. There is no set schedule so don't get disappointed. They cannot discuss certain things and they cannot send phone pictures...no matter how much we ask lol.

The following is my personal checklist that I used to pack and prepare for graduation, you can change whatever you wish. Anything with a star next to it means there is a link provided for it for the sites I used:

-Make hotel reservation at Lackland EARLY ( you can only stay ON base if you or someone you are with has a military ID) ----(210) 671-4277 <-----to make reservation
-Print directions to Lackland AFB*
-Make Reservation for rental car (if you don't do this early, you might not get one and trust me, it's worth it to have a car you can drive and not a taxi)
-Banner for Airman's Run*
-Graduation Present
-Dogtag necklace personalized*
-Camo shoes*
-Airmans run shirts*
-Candy for my husband
-Water bottles for him for after the run
-BUG SPRAY
-Sweaters
-Nametape Bracelet*
-Civillain clothes & shoes (for my husband to take with him to tech)
-His laptop (also for him to take to tech)
-Camera & Plenty of batteries
-Snacks for my son for the boring parts
-Tide Pen (for if he gets something on his uniform)
-Nice outfit (but nothing prom-like) for graduation
-Stroller
-Pack-N-Play (although the family hotels have them already along with highchairs)
-Any other small item he would want for tech
-Small bottles of Shaving cream/cologne for him (travel size)
-MY MILITARY ID (DO NOT FORGET THIS)

ARRIVING:
When- Most people arrive Wednesday since you must be up very early Thursday for the briefings and Airman's Run. If you get a rental car from the airport, be prepared for long lines at the check in for your rental car.

What to do- First, check into your hotel. If you are in Family hotels then the check-in area will be different than where the actual hotel rooms are. They are very nice and have a seperate bedroom and kitchen that is fully stocked and a pull out sofa. The reservation people will tell you how to get to the hotels, there is not a pool.  Once you arrive, do whatever you wish but stay by your phone. Just trust me on this. You may get a surprise call from your Airman. I went to dinner that night with some fellow wives and girlfriends that were there for the same reason! It was a fun night. But don't stay awake too late, you have to get up early.

Thursday THE BIG DAY!!!

Airman's Run- We went of course and got there about 20 minutes early. Don't worry about finding a place to stand, there is plenty of room and you will get to see your Airman run by. Make sure to look out for his squadron, seperated by colored shirts. Mine was in RED! He was in the 320 "Can't stop the rock!" However, if you have a big banner, you might want to get there early because while you may have a place to stand, there may not be enough room for your banner!

Briefings- We went to the 9:00 am one that was after the run while my mother-in-law saved our seats on the stadium. Ask your Airman ahead of time during one of his calls where his squadron will be and where you should sit. GET THERE EARLY AND SAVE YOUR SEAT. If your Airman was awesome like mine and made Honor Grad, there is a special section in the front for those family members.

Honor grads-  The walk out first during the ceremony! There is also a honor graduate reception you wont want to miss at 11:45.

Coin ceremony- Not as long as you would thing it is. This is a great moment in your Airmans career and enjoy every second of it! 11:00 am! Also, they cannot wave and smile at you or anything like that.

After the coin ceremony they will announce when you can FINALLY run down and tap out your Airman! THE BEST PART EVEEERRR! Be careful not to get run over though!

Rules- Your not supposed to kiss them, I did. It was quick and I did not hang all over him but it had been 8 1/2 weeks since I had seen my husband and I wanted to give a kiss so I did. We did not get in trouble, the last thing you want to do is get them in trouble.

-Don't walk in the grass
-Obey anyone in uniform
-DO NOT SPEED THEY WILL GET YOU....trust me...even for 5 over.
-Use the driving bridge to get from one side of the base to the other. There are maps to show you where this bridge is located. GET ONE PLEASE.
-Do not make your Airman LATE to ANYTHING. Bring them back at least 15 minutes early.
-Don't jaywalk
-Airmen cannot push strollers, hold your hand, drink or eat while walking in uniform. They also cannot talk on phones while walking in uniform.
-Listen to your Airman. They know the rules and will let you know. Don't argue with them about it either or get angry with them...its not their fault what they can or cannot do.

Hotels- They have to have permission to go into your hotel. BUT once they are in...it's wonderfuL!  They can be themselves completely! They do whatever they want (with the exception of drugs or drinking OF COURSE)  and say whatever! Since they can't leave the base Thursday, we stayed in the hotel the entire time Thursday and just let my husband relax!!! HE LOVED it. We all did!

Friday

Graduation- 9:00 am. BIG area and LOTS of seats but you STILL want to arrive early and save a seat. Bring your camera. We brought our stroller and parked it under the bleachers when the time came. This one is bit longer. Again, you get to tap them out when announced. Then your Airman can take you to see where they have lived the past 8 1/2 weeks! DO NOT break the rules in that building to save your life...again he/she will tell you what the rules are. Then from 12-8 you get to leave base and do whatever around town...seaworld, the river walk..w/e. The river walk is very nice and has plenty of shaded outside areas to eat. There are also riverwalk boat tours and you could look online to see if there are any events in the area, like plane shows..

My man is third from the left in honor grads!

Honor grad walk

Sat- WOOOHOOO

You get your man from 9:00am- 8:00 pm to do whatever you want! (within the rules of course) and it's amazing!!!!!! This was my favorite fun filled day spent with my husband!

Sunday- Honor grads/honor flight/ warrior flights get an extra town pass for sunday and can leave base again. We got to do this and enjoyed another nice day outside. If not, you have to stay on base like you did Thursday. Sunday night was also when I could give him his civilian clothes and laptop to take with him Monday.

On the Riverwalk steps

Monday- We left for home and he left for tech. He got his phone and was able to call on the bus ride. :)

USEFUL SITES:


http://www.facebook.com/AFWingMoms

http://www.facebook.com/pages/USAF-Basic-Military-Training/157294844292985?ref=ts
(they post pictures here of the men in training...but ARE NOT required to. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR PHOTOS)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfj7GhjawR0


Checklist Sites:

Directions to Lackland: http://www.lackland.af.mil/questions/topic.asp?id=82
Banner for Airmans Run: http://www.buildasign.com/Troops?pscid=10310&extcid=1389&mtcid=b&ntwcid=g&kwcid=military%20banners&gclid=COSTlsiIzK8CFaRdTAodIyWZcQ
Personalized Shirts: http://www.uberprints.com/custom/womens-t-shirts/2/#ref_1b
Nametape Bracelet: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Nametape-Memories/147627051998494
Camo Shoes: http://www.kaboodle.com/reviews/converse-olive-camo-womens-chuck-taylor-as-ox
Dogtag necklace: http://www.mydogtag.com/
Air Force Nail Decals: http://www.prettygirlygirl.com/Nail-Decals-By-Genre/Military-Themed/Airforce-Logo

Experience

While I admit that I am new to the military wife lifestyle, and yes it is very much so it's own lifestyle, when I was given a class assignment to write a short story on anything personal to me, this is what came out of it. Enjoy!

Nothing Left Simple

Jane was a simple woman with a simple name and an even simpler phone. It was what everyone called “the DYNO-phone” since it appeared to come from the prehistoric era. It was old and plain. It could make calls and that was all. She did not text, e-mail, or Facebook on her phone and that was okay with her. It wasn’t okay with her husband though, who wanted to text instead of go over minutes.

           

            “Seriously Jane. Just take the phone. Your phone won’t work now anyways since I turned it off and turned on this one.” He said with her glaring at him.

            “I don’t want that stupid phone Jake! I don’t even know how to use those freakin’ touch screen things! They break too easily and I wouldn’t even know how to make a 911 call! What if there’s an emergency and I can’t figure out how to call for help all because you HAD to get me some stupid iPhone when MINE worked just fine!” She yelled.

            “Jane dear, it’s just a phone. I will teach you how to use it. We can’t afford to go over our minutes anymore so you WILL learn the art of texting. Plus, you can check your e-mails on this”. He looked at her with the most calm and content look on his face. Even if she is mad at him, he loves her and cannot bring himself to yell at her.  She reached out and grabbed the phone with a frown on her face.  He had won the phone battle.

            “Fine, but if I die because I couldn’t call for help it’s on your conscious” she told him walking away and playing with her new phone.  Ding!  His phone went off a minute later. He looked down at his phone was surprised to see “Text from Jane” across the screen of his phone. He opened the new text and read “ Tihs fone iz stoopid” and couldn’t help but laugh.  He looked out at his wife who was now sitting on the patio apparently trying out her new ringtones.  As he listened to the variety of pre-loaded ringtones she was playing he sighed. He had something to tell her that was going to be much harder than telling her he changed her phone.

            Three days go by and Jane has successfully mastered text messaging on her new iPhone. In fact, she barely made calls at all anymore because she preferred to text! Jake walked in to the living room and sees Jane texting her sister. She was in a good mood and had mastered the phone. Now was the best time to tell her. Jake picked up his phone, found his wife’s number in his contacts, and called her. Looking confused, Jane slid the little green bar across the bottom of her phones screen. “Hello?”

            “Hey babe. I see you’ve figured out your new phone” Her husband replied on the other line and right next to her.  She wasn’t sure what he was doing at this point.  She looked at him and said, “Why are you calling me when you’re standing right next to me?’”

           

“I just wanted to make sure you knew how to answer calls effectively.” He responded. She could see the look on his face and knew something was up. Afraid of his answer she asked, “why?”       

            He hung up the phone and took a seat next to his wife. “The time has come Jane,” he said softly. He watched as her eyes filled with tears, questions, and doubts. “This phone is the only way I will be able to speak with you,” he continued. He looked at his wife and wanted more than anything to comfort her. He knew she was scared but they both knew there was nothing at all they could do to stop him from leaving. This was something that they both knew would come one day. This was his very first deployment. He would be gone for at least a year, maybe more. They never really knew. 

            He put his arms around a crying Jane and kissed her on her forehead. Together, they sat there for hours. It was the most bittersweet moment they had together. Two weeks later—he was gone.

She stared down at the simple black rectangular device that her husband made her get and told her self  “it’s just a phone”. So what if the battery dies for a minute? So what if she loses service for a millisecond? It doesn’t matter, right? WRONG. This stupid small insignificant device is now her lifeline. It is, as of now, the only link to her husband.  As of six hours ago, the only thing in her life left simple was her name.  Her life was now full of wondering, hoping and waiting.  Nothing was simple anymore, not even—her phone.  

Money VS Time

With the news of the twins came a lot of unexpected complications so say the least. I have been in and out of the ER trying to keep myself hydrated so that I don't nearly pass out again. With all this going on and my husband unable to live with me, he began to worry...

The topic of wether or not I should be sent back to Savannah was brought up several times so that I would have close family and friends to help. We made a deal , if I am still this ill by 16 weeks pregnant, I will return home early. Along with that choice came the talk of money (since we would have to pay a lot to get me home). Along with money came the issue of money vs time. My argument is that as long as your heading in the direction you want to be in, and as long as you have enough to pay all of your bills, you are fine. His argument is that enough is never enough. He is in the military training for a good job. We have enough to pay the bills and then some. But that isn't good enough for now. He only see's me and his son 3 hours a day Monday-Thursday and then from 6pm Friday- 730 pm Sunday. Now he wants to do blackrope, bullets, and more all of which will take even more time out of the little he already has with us.

His argument? "What I have now is good, but I want more and I have to get ahead of the game".
I tell him he needs to managae his time better that will allow him to do so without taking more and more time from his family. These are the kinda choices you regret with you lose a loved one, not spending the time you did have with them.

You know the type in movies that always want to work to get ahead of the game and get the best job or promotion but it ends up taking all of their time from their famalies....I married that guy. While I am proud of him for his major accomplishments, I wish he understood the importance of spending the time you do have with the ones you love.

I can't help but wonder if this is guy thing? Are girls the only ones who think time is more important than extra spending money for nicer things than what you already have? Or could it just be me that thinks this way? Is it wrong for him to always want more? No. Does it make me feel like what he has now (me and his children and able to pay the bills and still heading in a good direction for advancement) isn't goo enough for him? Yes.

Speaking of time and how short it is, the twins have grown rapidly since I found out anout them! The first picture is from when I was 8 weeks pregnant and the second is my 12 week ultrasound. I am now 14 weeks.  Time flys! Now if I could only get my husband to agree..

Here we go again!

In case the title didn't completely give it away...I'm pregnant!

At least according to two different test. And that's what it said across the little screen in clear words, "pregnant".
At this point most people are wondering "Is this a good thing?". The answer to that, is OF COURSE! With Ian being in the AirForce, we were actually trying to get pregnant for a few reasons.

1. We love our son
2. We want our son to have a sibling
3. A sibling he can be close in age to
4. We're happily married
5. We can afford it right now
6. We want the chance of him being deployed during my labor as small as possible

You see, Ian is a newbie in the USAF which means he has a series of courses and training he has to complete before he is deployable. That being said, since he still has about 5 months left in tech school and then another 6 (not sure on that) of training, being pregnant right now is pretty much perfect timing! 

What baby isn't good news though? Bad situation or not, it's a little baby boy or girl just starting their life. I don't see how people can ever look at a baby and hate what they see. But for right now, I don't want to think about that. I want to think about how from now on it's going to be "our children" and not just "our child". How there will be two little car seats in the back seat now and twice the commotion. I want to be exactly what I am in this moment, happy. 

Being the Mean Mom

Well, it's officially nap time at the Bonner house and of course my son is fighting sleep. I really don't see what his problem is? I loved taking naps as a kid. He must get it from his father. Of course everything "bad" he does, he gets from his father. It's my way of saying "since I have to be mean mommy, you get the bad traits."

My husband has always been the kind-hearted, loving, and fun one to be around. It's a few of the many reasons why I love him so much. But that takes at toll on me. He seems to have a hard time playing the tough-love role so I am the one forced to do the spanking or punishing of any kind. I have to give him credit, he has tried. But the first time he yelled at Jacob to "GO TO BED!" , Jacob replied by laughing. He can't take him seriously. Which is where mean mommy comes along and ends up being the one Jacob gets mad at.

You see, when mommy comes in the room and he knows he is supposed to be in bed, he gets up and runs and jumps in bed. When daddy comes in the room in the same situation, he laughs and starts playing again. Oh how he learns fast!

Honestly, I hate being the mean parent. I always thought that when I got married it wouldn't be that way and it would be half and half. But nope. I am mean mommy. I'm the one that has to say no when daddy was going to let him wonder off the trail and into cactus covered lands.

I guess the best way to look at it is that's neccessary. I do it for my son. I do it because someone has to do it. And like I said, I can't say my husband didn't try but I'm pretty sure he would be going against nature doing so. Oh well!
That's all my rambling for today. :)

Give up

That would be the easy option, right? Why not give up? Everyone sets their new years resolutions and amongst the doctor appointments and school work or child care....it's all forgotten? What's a way to not forget?
I'm almost certain everyone has a cell phone. If you do, set an alarm to remind you to do whatever it is you said you would do. Because God knows, you won't leave anywhere without your cell. If you're lucky enough to own an iPhone 4Gs, you can simply tell Siri to remind you.
If you however do not own a cell phone, tell a friend to remind you or write it on a sticky note and put it all over your house. Eventually, you will be so used to the alarms and sticky notes that you won't need these daily reminders.
Now, for everyone that says "I can't do it". Unless you're in a hospital and dying, you can. I have little sympathy for laziness and self-pity. I'm sorry but I don't think watching television is going to make you lose weight or gain money.
Time is another issue. If you're schedule is so hectic that you don't have the time to do what you wanted...take another look at your life. What do you do that could be subtracted from the equation every now and then? Maybe instead of going to that movie, you could read a book. Maybe instead of going out for ice cream, you could go to the gym? Maybe instead of getting your nails done, you could write in your blog? Why not?
While I understand that everyone has a different schedule and "physical limitations", what I am saying is, find what works best for you. Move things around. Just do WHATEVER you have to do to make it happen.
Not for me, chances are I don't even know you. For yourself. Do it for no body but YOU. I was always told that you can't truely love someone unless you love yourself first. So love yourself enough to do what's best for you and don't let anyone get in your way. Not parents. boyfriends, husbands, or friends. I believe in you and I don't even know who you are. :) GOOD LUCK!